Monday, May 26, 2014

There’s no better way to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice than to buy a bunch of crap on sale.

In this post: Memorial Day, on this date in history, muu-muus.

We never made it to Hong Kong Royal yesterday for dim sum. I had to settle for grilled cheese on low-carb white bread with sugar-free sweet pickles because I was asleep almost all day — just like Saturday — and couldn’t talk myself into wearing a brassiere for any reason whatsoever, including shrimp dumplings. I felt like a first-class sloth and loved every minute of it. How’s your three-day weekend shaping up?

And now, dear friends, a story from The Annals of Marcy’s Frequently Forgettable Childhood to brighten your Memorial Day! I was an eighth grader at Old Orchard Junior High in Skokie, Illinois, on this date in 1965 — 49 years ago today! — when a tornado lifted the roof off my school and dumped a mountain of crap on the faculty parking lot. At the time (I’m guessing around 9 a.m.) my social studies class was waiting just inside the main entrance for an approaching school bus to take us on a field trip, so we had a close-up view of the action and probably screamed louder than anybody else in the building. The school sent us all home afterwards because we were a bunch of nervous wrecks, and I think I remember getting the next day off, too. The following photo was taken when cleanup started on May 27.
To amuse myself last night I ordered an entire summer senior citizen wardrobe online in less than 15 minutes. This includes a lavender stretchy-knit floral lounger, the same lounger in solid black, and a purple and brown print thing with nice big pockets. The purple and brown print wasn’t my first color choice but the other two options were out of stock and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter — even to me — what color muu-muu I’m wearing to write the Howdygram. For the record, everything was 40% off because it’s Memorial Day and there’s no better way to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country than to buy a bunch of crap on sale. God bless America.
Thank you for reading this. I’m going to bed now, okay?

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