Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Howdygram’s official Ice Storm Survival Guide.

In this post: A frozen wasteland, amusing diversions.

In case you’re wondering why I didn’t write a Howdygram post yesterday, Sam had to work from home because his office was closed due to the entire Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex being entombed in half an inch of ice, so I decided to give him a day of privacy in the study without pestering him.

Below for your possible interest are three ice storm pictures from the Dallas Morning News website. Nothing much will change here until the temperature finally gets above freezing, and that’s not supposed to happen until Tuesday. Oy, right?
And now I’m pleased to introduce the Howdygram’s official Ice Storm Survival Guide, which describes several essential and entertaining stay-at-home activities for weather-challenged senior citizens like yours truly.

BUY THINGS. My early-morning Internet shopping spree included all of the following: 1) 24 packages of Jimmy Dean Country Gravy mix; 2) a case of Swanson’s canned Chicken a la King; 3) a nice vinyl shower cap; 4) DaVinci cane sugar vanilla syrup for Sam; 5) Downy Unstopables lavender-scented laundry pellet thingies; 6) Cottonelle toilet paper because our favorite brand was out of stock; 7) butt wipes; and 8) a dozen cans of tasty Hormel tamales. For the record, I ordered items 1, 3, 4, 6 and 7 from Wal-Mart; items 2, 5 and 8 hail from Amazon.
EAT THINGS. I had a grilled cheese festival for lunch with sweet pickles, a nice hamburger floating in McCormick brown gravy for dinner and assorted evening snacks that included pistachios, Russell Stover sugar-free chocolate, mozzarella sticks and Rolaids.

REVIEW YOUR RECENT PURCHASES ON AMAZON.COM. I was on a roll yesterday and wrote 23, including stupid ones for wintergreen TicTacs, white socks and a tiny spice funnel.

SLEEP A LOT. Aside from two extended, juicy naps in the family room wrapped in my favorite faux mink blanket, bed is more inviting than ever now that we’re using our new Sleep Master steel platform frame!
This thing has changed my life, people, mostly because I never realized how completely shitty our old box springs must have been. The support is HEAVENLY and the pain in my back and knees has been reduced 50%. You can buy the Sleep Master platform frame here on Amazon. (You’ll never go back to a box spring foundation. Trust me.)

Thank you for reading this. I’ll be back later because there isn’t anything else to do today. It’s 21° and the city is still frozen solid.

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